Another piece of evidence that we shouldn’t be doing what we are doing…
Yes, they did it! Proof that women were hunters too. About 70% of them. In fact, they were the ones making the tools. ( so what were the men doing, you might ask?) Anyway, we are done now, right, with this weird patriarchal stuff that we keep telling ourselves??
We carry our assigned genders as if they define our personalities. We dream within the unnatural limitations that come with those labels. We are male or female first, the rest of our lives gets decided from there. Women are more tempted to stay at home, men go to work while they can be as ambitious as they want to, nobody is going to bring them down for it. They might be judged, however, when they want to care.
But that division is not natural people.
There is nothing natural about women being the cares, and men being the providers. I can tell you what natural is, though. Wanne hear it? Might change a thing or two.
It is about what you naturally do best.
You are a person first and foremost. So when we are young we aren’t supposed to be limited by our assigned gender. We are supposed to be free, developing ourselves in a unlimited way. Doing what comes naturally. Meaning, we get to find out what we love to do and get really good at it.
That is what we are supposed to do.
So, back then, if you were good at hunting, or making tools, you would do that. And be a mother or a father if that was your path. But you were the most beneficial to the group doing what you did best. So people wouldn’t question your existence, it was clear you were contributing to the group!
So what on earth are we doing now?
Three minutes after a baby is born their parents start to treat the baby differently according to their gender. Defining them, limiting them. Making it unable to ever reach its full potential because they have to live, work and dream withing that limit. And that I haven’t even begon talking about what happens when a pregnant person discovers that they are pregnant with either a boy or a girl. They will start to treat their pregnant body differently affecting that fetus before it is even born. This might not be so different in the individual scale, but I think we can see what it does on the scale of, well, the full population of the planet that know the gender of the baby before it is born.
So, we are here now. Until now our lives have been determent by our gender. Our dreams were infected by it, our chances, our choices for education, everything. The way we move and how-easy-it-is-to-hammer-something-into-a-wall has been effected by our assigned gender at birth. How to get everything out of life that it has for you, and not just what you are supposed to have?
Because this stuff affects us. If you have that feeling, right now, that you can’t find our purpose, it may be because you are trying to find it within the limitations of your label. If you feel that you might not be contributing to society as much as you could, it may be that your label is limiting you. In the best case, your label isn’t limiting you anymore, but society might be limiting you because they see you as your label and not as the individual that you truly are.
So think back. Find out if you are truly free as who you are; what is it that crosses your mind every now and then, that you love to do but didn’t because it was hard choosing for it? You would have been the only one, voicing the desire. You would have been the only one of your gender sitting in that particular classroom? If you think back to the things that you decided were not for you, than you get a hint at how you are limiting your existence. What you should try out.
At the very least, now that you know all this, try not to be afraid to admit it, anymore. For me, personally, I whished that I was expected to be handy as much as my brothers. Now, whenever I want to hang a shelve and I can’t get the drill in the wall properly, I ask one of the men in my family to do it for me. It takes them a few seconds, they are more experienced than me. But each time I see them finish my work, I realize that is wasn’t that hard. I know I can already do it a lot better than quite a few men.
So what if you secretly dreamt about being a stay at home dad? Or if you wanted to be in IT as a female or in nurse-school as a male? Ok, so maybe it is hard imagining that you would do it from the start all over again. At the very least start admitting to yourself that this, where you are now, isn’t really where you wanted to go. Maybe then you might find a way to let some of those dreams come true. While you are there, changing your life to a place where you feel much more at easy and happy with it, start pointing a finger at the real problem. The thing that made life harder for all of us, not just women. The thing that defines who we are before we have even started to find out who we are. That patriarchy with its labels and its rewards if you adhere to what it has to say. Then maybe, just maybe, we won’t limit the others that come after us as much as we did ourselves.
Being more sustainable, when it comes down to your clothes, is hard.
There are so many options, and so many conflicting statements.
Should I buy only “all natural materials?” Should I buy second hand? Should I buy my regular brands, but the sustainable lines? Use what I have, even if I don’t like it anymore?
This can get so confusing and frustrating!!
You may even find yourself being hard on yourself if you haven’t been able to do what you meant to do, or if you find out that sustainable for this brand means something else for another brand!
After spending years working as a designer in fashion, some of it spent trying to change it from the inside out, there is one conclusion that is more important to me than anything else.
Fashion should not be making people feel bad, it should be a source of good and fun!
Fashion was my source of inspiration and the most amazing thing to do, until I realised fashion doesn’t actually make people feel good.
Not in design, not in production, and certainly not the people wearing it!
I had to change how I worked and thought about fashion.
That is what I did, and what I am trying to spread into the world, because I believe that everyone should have as much fun as I am having with dressing themselves!
This blog is for you, as a fashion and planet lover, because I think you deserve to feel fantastic in your clothes!
Buying the right things is stressful From my own experience I know that wanting to buy the right things can be very hard.
You want to do this right, right?!
When I was starting to look into being more sustainable I became very stressed because there is just no way to be really doing this right.
Everything that appeared okay turned out to also have a red flag.
Buying second hand mostly didn’t work for me. I had to sacrifice looking good.
Buying sustainably meant that I still bought something new, while the world has enough clothes anyway.
If I was shopping with friends and found myself thrilled there was a sustainable or organic line in the stores they went in, I later found out they weren’t as sustainable as they claimed to be.
It was super confusing to find out what I really wanted to do because most brands have a different way to approach sustainability.
Do you want to wear clothes that involve animal-fur? But I don’t really want to wear plastic fibres too, right? And bamboo isn’t as “natural” if you look at the process, either.
Brands try to be more transparent about what they are doing and luckily loads of brands are getting away from the “tree hugger” – style they used to be in.
Unfortunately most companies are a long way from being truly honest about what they do, and with new studies and different interpretations of old studies coming up every minute, there is just no way to be doing this right.
This means it isn’t going to be easy to buy your clothes and be happy in them unless you do something different: yourself.
Let’s assume here, as has been said by many authorities in the sustainable fashion field, that the most sustainable outfit you have is one that you love and want to wear forever!? Something you do not want to throw away and that you will wear as much as you can?
I am sure we can agree on that…
It means you need to put yourself centre stage.
Not the things you should or shouldn’t be doing.
Let’s find out if I can help you with that, right now!
No, I don’t tell you what to wear! When I was a kid, I used to be very creative.
I had bags and bags of items handed down to me by aunties filled with clothing that I then changed to wear.
Or I simply wore them the way they were.
But that had a downside.
I was thought of as a bit weird.
And when I hit puberty, that was just too hard.
So I finally had a bit more money, and clothes were getting cheap. I went for it.
I was an early adopter. Or, maybe it was just my eye for things that are new and different that made me wear items before they hit the main-public.
I was an intuitive buyer. I can feel it when I really like something.
At the same time, the whole thing seemed a bit ridiculous.
Not wearing things twice, having to keep up with the latest trends as if your life depends on it…. You know, that kind of stuff.
And after a while of working in fashion, I had enough.
I had seen the documents and the reports of how the workers were treated, and what happened with our clothes after we (hardly) wore them.
And then something dawned on me that made it all fall apart in my hands…
It doesn’t make you feel better!
Maybe if we all feel like magic wearing fashion, I wouldn’t find it all so hard, but we don’t!
Fashion is put up in a way that we have an ideal to aspire to about how we should look, but none of us ever have a shot to look like that ideal!
Somehow we ended up in this world where we measure how we look with what we see out there on others.
If how you look fits in with what you see out there, you are good.
But that idea keeps changing, making more waste, and creating the need for new.
It is in fact something that is pushed by the fashion industry to make sure that they can keep selling their stuff.
Making the individual feel like they are never good enough when they look in the mirror…
Because I am a designer, I keep getting the following question, “What should I wear?” or, “how does this look on me?”.
I would never give you an answer.
Because it is not up to me to tell you what you look good in. That is entirely up to you.
You should base your wardrobe not on what a fashion designer tells you. You should base it on you!
I stopped completely as a designer for a while.
I hate to admit this, but for a few years I didn’t look like a designer at all. I looked like a tired and neglected mum.
I had totally lost my joy of fashion.
Until I found back what I had lost so many years ago: that creativity that I used to have when I was a kid.
Now I have a wardrobe that I call a regenerative wardrobe.
It means I keep using my old garments as a basis for new things.
Not all of my garments are regenerative, though.
But quite a few of them are unique items that I love to the bone, and that you wouldn’t find in a store.
The only way that I can do that is by knowing and feeling that the only person I have to dress for is myself.
I hope to inspire that in you, too.
Easier said than done
I believe that if we can let go of what others do and say, we can start to dress the way we want to. If that is the case, you love your wardrobe forever and are very careful with what you buy, tackling the most important issue in sustainable fashion. It is easier said than done, to dress the way you want to, because we are so used to adjusting to the norm.
The way to stop adjusting and creating a wardrobe that you love is by loving and respecting yourself, knowing who you are, and being creative with that.
That is all there is to it.
But I would never say that it is easy.
I am going to go out on a limb here and assume that you are into sustainable fashion because you are sensitive to others getting hurt and to our planet getting hurt.
It means you are someone who cares about other people and have an antenna for how others feel.
It means that when you were growing up, you adjusted.
How you have been raised and what happened to you may also still have an impact on how you feel about yourself right now.
Add to that your creative spirit that at least a few times in life made you feel like you were a tad odd…
So you are used to adjusting who you are to others.
It is hard to convey in a blog what you should be doing to increase your self-respect, as I work with people for weeks, or even months, to make sure that they feel good about themselves.
It is also a very personal journey.
But fashion and daring to wear what you love really goes that deep.
It is hard to wear only what YOU love and like if you are still apologetic about who you really are.
If you still adjust.
I’ll give you something that might help you, though…
How do you look in the mirror? What do you see?
Do you see everything that is “wrong” with you?
How you see yourself in the mirror is what is going to make a massive difference when you are trying to decide how you want to look.
Now let me tell you a little something about what our brain does.
We see 4.000 to 10.000 ads a day. That is not taking into account the movies we see in a day.
Our brain takes these pictures and translates them in our brain as “normal” because there are so many of them.
Our brain doesn’t distinguish between fake and real.
It will take everything as real.
So when we look in the mirror we compare ourselves to an image in our head that isn’t real.
The pictures we see of faces and bodies are photoshopped, put under perfect lighting, and have hours spent sitting in professional makeup chairs. Not forgetting that most of these pictures are made of people that make a living posing and being looked at. They earn their money by looking good.
That means their main goal of the day is working out and visiting the beauty salon.
What would happen with your self-image if there was no choice but to only compare yourself with the people living in your street?
How would you feel differently about your body if your neighbour was your reference?
You can make sure this effect has less impact on you, by talking to yourself positively when you look in the mirror and by making sure that you realise the effort that goes into a picture.
When you see a movie-star-poster, realise that much of it is fake and how much work goes into that.
Don’t believe me?
Google celebs without makeup.
They are an awful lot like you and me. And make sure you look at those pictures knowing all they lack is makeup.
They still have perfect skin and eyebrows because there is someone controlling their food/exercise and hair-plucking regime…
So what do you buy?
If you have accepted yourself and learned to love who you are, you are in the perfect position to create your own style!
Give yourself a bit of time. You need to learn how to do this.
It means you have to try stuff out and unleash your creativity.
What is the most important thing to consider when you are curating your wardrobe?
Do I love this?
Do I love this down to the herringbone?
Because it is hard to feel if you do when you are in a store, I came up with a few categories.
You can come up with your own answers so you have a kind of checklist:
• No trends
If you love an item, but that feeling comes from a trend you spotted, it isn’t something you are going to love forever.
• Love the story
Where is the garment from? What does it represent? Was it a small designer that created it? Or is it bought from someone that you want to support?
• Look at your past
There are a lot of tips and ideas of what you should be wearing again, from your wardrobe in your past. Don’t fear them because they “went out of style.” Wear it with passion, and you will look amazing!
• Don’t be too harsh
Sustainable clothing always has a red flag. So make up your own ideas of what you love and like. The most important thing is that YOU love it & therefore will wear it forevah
• Love the material
If you find it comfortable, you will walk around in it. If it is itchy or stingy, you aren’t going to wear it! There are also different ways in which fabric looks in the mirror. Get to know yourself so you can turn down a garment on the basis of its fabric quality.
• Check the quality
Some garments are made in a rush. If the buttons fall off the garment easily, it’s because they are only attached with a few stitches. Also, an overstitch should be straight. It is a stitch line clearly visible, and if it isn’t straight, someone was on a very very late shift making this item.
• Send a message
Ask the maker, “Who made my clothes?” even after you bought something. From experience, I can tell you that the designers making your outfits want to know how you feel about them!
The moment you are unapologetic about who you are, you have your own style.
I mean it!
Even if you wear all kinds of different items.
That may simply be your style.
In fashion nowadays, so many different things are possible, you do not have to scare away from something because it is hardly possible to be “out of fashion”.
I believe that in the future, the style-icons will be people that have perfected their own unique style, because we are currently saturated with trends, and, frankly, quite sick of them.
If you feel good about who you are, you have the guts to wear what you like, and you will develop a style that is unique and that you love.
I hope this helps you to trust your own ideas, instinct, and love for your clothes.
We just aren’t very creative anymore when it comes to clothing.
We don’t know how to think outside the box. What we see is what we believe is possible.
Even if we often do not feel good in it!
Wearing what you like means thinking for yourself and ridding yourself of that standard image.
What do you love?
You don’t know this yet, because it isn’t visible on others.
You can make it visible on yourself, but only by trying, and by dressing yourself only for you!
Enjoy dressing yourself in clothes you never want to get rid of.
Find who you are, and be an expert at that!
After trying to change the fashion industry from the inside out, I realised that all the solutions that I was trying to bring already existed in fashion.
We are just not used to wearing and looking for them.
So, I realised my mission is authentic self-expression because the change isn’t in the fashion system, it is in the people.
Whomever you are, and however you want to change your wardrobe, it is possible.
You just have to go for it, try it out, change, unleash your creativity!
Seven signs that tell you; you aren’t who you think you are.
(Seven, cause that just looks good!)
I heard someone say that it is hard to be yourself but it is harder not to.
That isn’t right.
Sure you have more to loose if you aren’t living life true to who you are, but it is easier to be someone you are not when it is all you ever did in your life anyway.
It is hard to change that because change is something that is hard in itself.
But we all did, more or less.
We all started off as being something you are not!
We all carry some kind of hurt, something that we had to protect ourselves against when we were younger.
That shapes who we appear to be, now.
You might have even integrated it into yourself so well that you think it is part of your personality.
Worst case is when you build your life up, but at one point it just feels like “your life isn’t yours”.
Little less horrid is when you just keep wondering what to do next and never find that rest and trust in your mind.
But how do you know when you are not true to yourself?
Well, I divided it up in 7.
It isn’t the same for all of us, but I am very curious if you recognize yourself in one or more of these signs.
Obviously, I ain’t going to leave you hanging, so after that I have 7 tips that you may want to try out to get closer to yourself & that life you love to wake up to!
Here we go!
1 Something else is at the wheel. Your head runs in overdrive. You search for answers elsewhere. It means you attend that course, but at the end find out that you didn’t get what you needed from it. Or when it comes to expressing yourself in clothes, you love to find new trends as a guide to what to wear, or dress according to your shape & age instead of knowing what you want!
2 You think your personality is set in stone. You are the way you are, right? That goes for good stuff and for bad stuff? That is not accurate. We change in our lives, we grow. Growing means that you have seen yourself respond to the same situations differently in the past. We are not set in stone, to think that you are, or a part of you is, means that you still take the traits that you needed when you were growing up as part of your personality.
3 You are your emotions. You are angry, happy, mad etc etc. You let them decide your day. You don’t see emotions as something you can work with. You look around you for the guilty ones that make you feel a certain way. It’s your upbringing, your family, something in the world…. Everything but not you.
4 You feel trapped. You aren’t happy. In a way you wonder at what happened that made your life come out this way…. Why isn’t everything different? Why doesn’t everything work in your favor? You need things to change and you try to act accordingly but it won’t help.
5 You worry about things. You worry about losing your job or not being successful at what you are trying to do. (What will they say if what I do is only so-so?) Money is a reason to not change, because changing your life will change you income.
6 You suppress your emotions. It is hard to change you habits. You just can seem to be able to lose the weight. You need distractions like binge watching, drinking or eating (chocolate did it for me a very long time…) to keep the feeling of happiness going. Another sign may be; you keep turning to your brain to reason you out of situations instead of trusting your gut!
7 You surround yourself with people that stall growth. They keep you from changing and they trigger you to stay the same. New thoughts and ideas aren’t welcome. In some cases you surround yourself with people that respond to life in the same way as the people you had around you when you grew up, if those were the people that instilled the trauma on you.
Bonus! Low self esteem. You do not like who you are. You have a highly active inner critic. You may not like your face, you don’t like thinking about your life. It just all tastes a little bitter and you find it hard to look at your life as a set of accomplishments or things that you fought hard to get through.
These are some signs that you may want to look at.
Look, I know it is hard.
We haven’t been taught to just do what you feel like doing.
A load of the emotions we had as a kid we have learned to hide.
And we taught ourselves to look and act like the pack, or only be a tad bit different, not too much.
But there is a freedom in being who you are that you deserve.
If you resonate with a load of these it might be hard for you to be who you really are but showing up , in every way, as who you really are is my cup of tea.
So, I am not going to leave you here with this, I would love to find out if any of these next tips is something you can see yourself doing to improve your situation!
Because; I love uniqueness!
And I know that you feel so much better when you are unapologetic about who you really are.
All right, here we go!
1 Let it in. That’s right. How you feel about some of many parts of your life might not be fun to realize. Especially if you are used to pushing it away because the implications might be big or you have been telling yourself the story that there isn’t another way out. Change starts with acknowledgement.
2 talk to someone. But not anyone. Not everyone will (want to) understand what you are struggling with! We all try to fit ourselves into a status quo, more or less. Some people force themselves to stay where they are. It means that they will not support you in the way you need to be supported to change your life.
3 take small steps. You want to change your life? Big things are hard to change. Small steps might give you a better idea of where you want to go and make the transition easier. You do not have to quit your job to feel what it is like to run a animal shelter, just volunteer for a few hours a month. You do not have to cut ties with all your friends, maybe just finding new ones to go with the old ones will do the trick. Take it easy!
4 take small steps that matter. Have you every caught yourself thinking things like; I need to get this *insert massive project* before I can go for it? Like “I should quit my job before starting my business” or “I need to get this massive idea of a kick-ass website running before I can launch?” Yeah, you are stalling yourself and every time you go and do something you haven’t done before, you come up with a distraction. We all do this but sometimes you need a pro to point these out to you in order for you to really REALLY do it this time… Just sayin’.
5 let go. Let go of people that do not support you. Let go of things that don’t make sense with you anymore. Let go of the need for everyone to sign off on your ideas. 70% of the jobs in 10 years time haven’t been invented yet. People do not know what the future brings, they do not know if you can do this or not!
6 find role models. Find people that are (or do something that relates to what you are doing) where you want to be BUT STARTED at the same place as where you are now. Your road might still be different, you may have a different talent, or different idea of how to get there but having role models will make sure that you see it can be done and that there is no reason why you cannot.
7 Work on your history. Take the responsibility for your life and know what lessons to take from them. How do you want to look at your life? Is your role in your past the role of the victim? Or of the survivor and hero? How you feel about your past and your part in it, makes a difference how you feel about yourself, right now….
There you go, seven signs and seven things to work with.
Now, I don’t want to leave you struggling, plus I really like to know if this resonated with you or not, to make this blog better.
If you want a chat, I would love to hear from you.
Obviously, if you do not have the right people to talk to you, right now, find me here and I promise if we aren’t the right match I will try to get you to the right place!
If you base what you do and what you look like on what you THINK is expected of you, you won’t really like your life and everything in it.
Now, the first time you read that, it may sound very obvious.
But most of the decisions that we make are based on external expectations!
We have been taught that a happy life means having a family, it is hard to be different, if you are someone who doesn’t want children you will find yourself having to explain yourself million of times!
We live under the impression that it is your fault if you seem to be unable to choose the right education and the right job from the available options, it seems to work for everyone else, you must be at flaw if it doesn’t work for you!
And you know that if you don’t know what to wear it simply means that you aren’t very good at spotting trends and that it is YOUR fault if you cannot find the joy in fashion!
That is only a snippet of the ideas that exist that put a little, or a lot, of pressure on you.
We are not taught that it is okay to be doing something differently, just because you feel you want to.
And that means that you feel right now that miss something in your life.
That is where I come in.
I help you to be who you really are, and take decisions from that place.
I believe that you KNOW what and how you want to do things, but it is just snowed in.
You have been taught not to believe in yourself.
In your veins runs blood that thinks it’s not good enough. The cells of your body are trained to keep you form speaking up, because that might make you the next target. You looks are devoted to not-stand-out and to be appealing to as many people as possible.
I help you to find the strength to believe in yourself and your dreams.
To make sure that you do what you need to do to create that life.
That life that you love to wake up to.
You can live you life as an Icon.
I believe everybody has an inner Icon that wants to come out, but we keep that from happening, either through self-sabotage or because of how we are brought up.
An Icon knows who they are, what they want and how they want to do it.
They have a unique style to them, that is anchored in their authenticity.
There is just so much fake, there is a need for real and for honest.
Being who you are, while others can see you, is hard.
It is the most vulnerable thing you can do.
But not being who you are, drains you.
If it is bad, it will get you a life that you do not really want.
Zeven tekenen waaruit blijkt dat je eigenlijk helemaal niet zo blij bent met de kleding in je kledingkast!
Ik durf te stellen dat jij hoogstwaarschijnlijk gewend bent om jezelf te kleden in kleding die echt het minimale voor je doet van wat het eigenlijk voor je kan doen. En nee, dat is niet jouw schuld.
Vanaf nu ga ik je helpen daar verandering in te brengen…
Ik ga er even vanuit dat jij ook meestal je kleding in de winkel koopt??
Afhankelijk van jouw budget heb jij je een gewoonte eigen gemaakt die ervoor zorgt dat je kleding koopt van een bepaalde prijsklasse. Die prijsklasse bepaalt voor een groot gedeelte ook de levensduur van die kleding, daarna wil je graag iets nieuws.
Niet alleen omdat het niet meer mooi is, de stof pluist, is verwassen of het model zakt in elkaar, maar ook door de verandering van trends. De trends die gebruikt worden om een artikel te ontwerpen veranderen steeds, dus een artikel raakt uit de mode…
Het is een beetje alsof je kleding koopt die, net als fruit, een uiterste datum heeft. Zelfs als je kledingstuk nog goed is zorgt een trend ervoor dat hij toch weg moet.
Die cyclus ben je inmiddels wel gewend.
Je koopt, bent enthousiast over een kledingstuk, en doet het weer weg.
Dan is het nu wel ook nog even belangrijk om erbij te zeggen dat dat enthousiasme vaak niet ECHT het kledingstuk is! Wanneer we iets kopen maken we stofjes aan in onze hersenen, voornamelijk Dopamine, wat ervoor zorgt dat jij het leuk vindt om in iets nieuws te lopen. De studies verschillen een beetje mbt hoe lang dat dit stofje voor je werkt, maar dat het na een maandje of wat wel uitgewerkt is, zijn ze het wel over eens.
Omdat je deze cyclus zo gewend bent en omdat je niets anders om je heen ziet dan dit, is het moeilijk te bedenken wat je anders zou kunnen doen.
Want hoe ziet een kledingstuk er dan uit waar je 10 jaar later nog in loopt? Hoe ziet een kledingstuk er uit wat je zelfs laat repareren omdat je het zo ontzettend te gek vindt? En waar haal je zoiets dan?
Een kledingkast voor jezelf cureren waar je nooit meer het gevoel bij hebt dat je niets om aan te trekken hebt, is moeilijk.
Daar gaat namelijk een enorme gewoonte verandering aan vooraf. Het begint al met het opschroeven van de verwachtingen die je zelf hebt van een kledingstuk.
Maar dat je nu niet genoeg vraagt van de kleding die in je kast hangt en je hier jezelf eigenlijk te kort doet, wordt makkelijk duidelijk wanneer jij de volgende zeven (ik kon het niet laten ik heb een bonus punt toegevoegd!) punten even afweegt voor jezelf;
Het is niet altijd makkelijk om je in de ochtend zo te kleden dat je helemaal happy het huis verlaat. Wanneer ik je vraag om voor de komende 7 dagen te vertellen welke outfits je aan wil doen, dan is het moeilijk voor je om er 7 totale outfits uit te halen waar je helemaal verliefd op bent.
Je voelt je sneller te gek wanneer je iets nieuws draagt. Wanneer je iets nieuws draagt is het makkelijker om daar helemaal in te schitteren en om je lekker te voelen. Mocht je een bijzonder evenement hebben dan heb jij niet 3 outfits hangen die je heel graag aan wil, maar je bedenkt jezelf dat je liever nog even gaat shoppen…
Je draagt je kleding niet meer dan 30x. Je hebt aardig wat kledingstukken in je kast hangen die je niet zo vaak gedragen hebt maar waar je wel je enthousiasme al voor verloren hebt.
Je moet dingen wegdoen om orde te scheppen. Om te zorgen dat je kledingkast niet “overloopt”, moet jij regelmatig dingen weg doen, anders verlies je het overzicht en is je kast niet meer leuk om in te kijken.
Je voelt dat het belangrijk voor je is om tenminste een beetje modieus voor de dag te komen. Je hoeft geen fashionista te zijn om deze noodzaak te voelen. Wanneer je eerlijk bent en denkt aan de kleding in jou kast ligt, dan zijn er toch wel een paar artikelen die stoffig liggen te worden puur omdat je kunt zien dat ze van het vorig seizoen zijn.
Jij bent bezig met de “fouten” in de kleding die andere maken. Veel van deze fouten zijn ongeschreven mode-regels. Het valt jou bijvoorbeeld op wanneer iemand iets aan heeft wat veel te kort of te strak is voor hun leeftijd. Of wanneer iemand een trend draagt die niet past bij hun levenstijl.
Jij houd van shoppen of je haat het. Je gaat shoppen om de tijd te verdrijven, om iets leuks te doen, het is een vorm van entertainment voor jou. Of je hebt een hekel aan shoppen, er hangt toch nooit iets wat je echt leuk vind. De meeste kleding is niet jou stijl…
Bonus nummer 8 Jij kijkt soms naar anderen en denkt; durfde ik dat maar. Jij bent eigenlijk een veel kleurrijker of uitgesproken persoon, maar dat durf je niet te laten zien. Vaak ren je de deur uit zonder het omhangen van die toffe ketting of een extra sjaal. Eigenlijk ontbreekt het je een beetje aan eigenwaarde om echt uit te durven komen voor wie je eigenlijk bent…
Mocht je jezelf herkennen in een of meer van deze punten, dan heb ik je iets leuks te vertellen!
Kleding kan echt stukke leuker worden voor jou!
(lees verder onder de foto)
Mijn naam is Marjolein, ik ben een modeontwerper met een hekel aan de mode. Waar ik wel een zwak en een fascinatie voor heb zijn voor unieke dingen.
Het is niet raar dat ik in de mode terecht ben gekomen, ik ben graag bezig met mooie dingen en daarnaast is iedere trend natuurlijk nieuw op het moment dat hij in de wereld wordt gedacht.
Nadat ik jaren in die mode heb gewerkt was het heel moeilijk om mezelf eerlijk in de spiegel te blijven aankijken. Mijn meest favoriete onderwerp, de mode-industrie, waar ik zo hard voor had gewerkt om deel van uit te maken, was niet zo mooi als dat ik had gedacht. Ik kon het niet meer aanzien wat de mode allemaal voor slechts veroorzaakte in de wereld. Dan bedoel ik niet alleen voor het milieu en voor de mensen die in de mode werken; maar ook voor jou, wanneer jij voor de spiegel staat.
Er ligt een sterke druk op het verkopen van meer, in de mode. Dat verkopen gaat vaak ten koste van jou eigenwaarde. Het is eigenlijk wel fijn dat jij het gevoel hebt dat je een product nodig hebt om er goed uit te zien. Dat je iets nieuws moet kopen voor dat feestje om je lekker in je vel te voelen.
Je goed voelen over je natuurlijke zelf, waardoor je niets meer van ze nodig hebt, kost de beauty-industry miljarden!!
Dat kon ik niet meer aanzien. Dus ben ik gestopt en doorgegaan met iets wat me veel meer aan het hart light; zelfexpressie.
Jezelf laten zien zoals je bent, los van trends en van alles wat zou “moeten”.
Klinkt simpel, he? Is het toch niet.
Wat het allerbelangrijkst is, is dat jij je goed voelt over jezelf. Over wie je bent en wat je doet in het leven.
En laat dat nu eens zijn waar de meeste mensen het meeste moeite mee hebben!
Dat betekend tijd voor jezelf vrijmaken. Ontdekken wat je hobby’s ook weer zijn. Jezelf vergeven voor de dingen die je verkeerd hebt gedaan in het leven. Geld aan jezelf uitgeven zonder dat je daar een schuldgevoel van overhoudt. Durven uitspreken wanneer jij je gekwetst voelt. Grenzen aangeven. Je dromen durven uitspreken.
Goed in je vel zitten zodat je ook aan durft te trekken wat je wilt omdat jij weet dat je de moeite waard bent.
Dat is iets wat ik nu doe, veelal voor mensen die hun droom achterna willen. Want als jij een droom hebt, dan zul je je gezicht moeten durven laten zien op plekken waar je eerder niet kwam.
Online, wanneer je daar een business op aan het zetten bent, of offline, op een evenement om informatie te krijgen en geïnspireerd te raken of zelfs om zelf te spreken!
Mocht jij het gevoel hebben dat er meer voor je is dan dat je nu voor elkaar krijgt, dan hoor ik dat graag.
Ik help je namelijk graag uit je stulp kruipen en gaan staan voor wie je bent en wat je te bieden hebt.
Wil je nu al iets doen met me, maar durf je me nog niet te bellen? Vul dan hieronder je emailadres in. De komende drie weken krijg jij dan gratis in je inbox opdrachten. Het zijn intensieve en bijzondere opdrachten die ervoor zullen zorgen dat jij in je kracht komt te staan en durft te gaan staan voor wie je bent.
Let op, het is in het Engels maar ik sta dag en nacht (euh, trouwens, niet te enthousiast, alleen overdag) paraat om je te helpen mocht je er niet uitkomen.
Pluk de dag; dat doe je in je beste outfit en met je grootste smile!
We are so stuck with our noses in only one way that this crisis can be solved, that it is hard to envision and demand other ways.
I was in two discussions in one day. One made me scared and worried, the other calmed me down and pissed me off at the same time.
They were about the number one discussed subject at this time. So I am not going to get into the details of the discussions, sufficed it to say that I am more determined than ever to make sure that my money and my effort go into the things that I endorse and not into the things that I hate and are a source of suffering for a lot of people.**
What it is going to be about is this; what if we would have done things differently?
What if the focus of this pandemic would have been totally different?
If we don’t do what needs to be done right now, we won’t be able to battle this pandemic. If we do what needs to be done we will all be better and healthier, sooner. The things that we need to do are; -stay home, -take tests, -get vaccinated and we need to do them ASAP. Hurry hurry!
But here is the problem. The one that is causing me to get a headache for 24 hours already.
It starts with a bunch of what ifs…
In Jan 2020 there were a lot of strange long-infections somewhere in China, which probably set a bunch of people off, but for the sake of this discussions, shall we take March 2020, when the WHO declared it a pandemic.
That was 21 months ago.
That was when we started to get these discussions about what we should and shouldn’t do. That is almost two years ago. How come this crisis is still considered as something imminent? The rules and regulations that we should follow, why are they still thought of something that has haste?
I promised you some what ifs, right?
What if from the beginning of this pandemic it would not have been about restricting, but about health?
It takes 2 years for the effects of a contraceptive pill to be out of your system and your risk of breast-cancer to be retuned to “normal”. That sounds long but you would almost be there now. The healing of your lungs after smoking begins after 3 weeks of quitting and some parts of the lungs will have healed after 9 months. That time has long passed… Your longs would be fit as a baby by now! It takes 6-12 months to go through a drug-detox treatment. I could have had 2 babies in this time. If you have ever been pregnant than you know how terribly long a pregnancy takes. IT COULD HAVE BEEN TWO. If you loose weight and keep it to only 0,5 kilo a month you would have lost 10,5 kilo by now. The physical benefits of loosing that much weight for a lot of people could be huge.
(I am not going to write a negative list about the negative implications the rules to tackle COVID have done to us. I am just not, email me and we can speculate about that!)
Covid is no longer imminent. It is a constant and you are letting your ideas for solutions limit you to only what “they” recommend.
What if we would have focused on health? Sure, you would not have been able to get away with it in the beginning but the same tactics to get these rules and laws into effect that we all follow now, who knows what would have happened if we would have taken “health” into the equation…
Say we double (no quadruple) the cost of unhealthy food. Extra tax alcohol. Say we make people exercise? What if you can earn point for eating healthy, or demand people to follow a program that will make you healthier? Or worse, you are not allowed in a space if you haven’t exercised enough this week? What if people would have been banned from work after 4 so they would be forced to make a healthy meal?
I know this sounds super silly, I do. Of course you are not going to let your freedom be taken away! You have the right to decide if you are or aren’t going to have a drink/binge watch instead of running and/or eat healthy. Right? Freedom of choice and I need my coke!
But bare with me for a minute… On the whole, what would the effects have been for the general population? What if everybody overweigh would now weigh 10 kilos less? (For the record, I probably need to lose about 2 kilo to fall in the healthy category, which I find reasonable.)
How much fewer people would be in a hospital by wealth-related diseases by now, after 21 months? (if you have an answer, or a good article about this, let me know! The title would be something like; hospitals turn empty as less and less people need attention. Or; people are too healthy, doctors losing their jobs… )
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH COCA COLA I DRANK IN THE LAST 21 Months?
About 630 cans.
I just did the math. I drink about a can a day. I love it. There is a lot of crap in there. What is all of that wouldn’t have ran through my system? How much healthier would I have been by now.
I certainly would not have been craving that coke now… adding another 250 ml to my already 157 500 ml of coke that I have been drinking during this pandemic. I do not want to count how much cake, chocolate and other stuff I ate to cope with the pandemic. (AKA to cope with sitting home, worrying, doing nothing, loss of oxytocin because of lack-of-physical-touch)
My point is I need to focus of this crisis management team to change.
I need the gyms to be open. I need healthy food to be cheaper than bad-food. I need it to be easier to say no to crap as I am inspired to eat and drink crap all day long. I need to be inspired to be healthy and have a fantastic lifestyle. And no, this is not a free choice. It is been made difficult to have a healthy lifestyle and I need that to change.
And I need a hug.
* between starting to write this and post about it on my Insta & fb I have stopped drinking coke completely…
** I don’t like how the world works. Never have. When I was a I kid I thought that it that all these things weren’t going to be a problem anymore when I grew up. Surely these things were obvious, clearly spelled out for everyone to see, so it is easy to solve them. Boy was I wrong!
A lot of those things, though, let take a few, war, poverty, discrimination, sexism and euhh.. lets not forget climate change, those are huge problems. You changing what you do doesn’t mean a thing on the big scale. The enormity of the problem works paralyzing.
Except for one thing.
I am not responsible for what everybody else does. I am only responsible for what I do. So my money goes towards things that I believe in. I try not to spend too much money in stores where they hire people for the lowest wages and than turn over the profits to fat-white-men-on-an-island-somewhere-warm. Where the way they have and work with their product, that same thing that made them rich, is polluting the planet. I am no longer happy wearing something from a brand like that. (Did you know that the wealthier people get, the less they can see the people that are poor? They simply drop out of view from the wealthy..)
A lot of how covid is managed means we are up on consuming, and down on the things that we need to do to keep a good mental condition. Sports, getting together, being active, outdoor, walking with alpacas (the farm had to temporary close…) and things like that.
I am happy to spend my money on a brand where I can see the people that have designed the collection. The brands that have a signature style that I like, and the designers know the people that make the clothes. They pay them properly too. Wearing that makes me feel a lot better and I can easily afford them because I do not buy so many items in the fast-fashion stores.
Keeping my consumerism down, my mindset & mental condition healthy also means; keeping my money away from big companies.
So what is it that you stand for? And do you buy accordingly?
Do you get up in the morning and consider the people that you might run into when you select what you want to wear? Would you want to dress more outgoing but you fear eyes looking at you when you pass?
At the same time you are working on your mission, on getting your work out there and being noticed, but that isn’t doing what you like it to do, just yet?
How would dressing up the way you want to, unique and possibly in your face, help both situations? What would it take for you to dress up uniquely, be proud of who you are and where you stand, and how would that help both you and your work to be more successful?
My name is Marjolein, and I help creatives with their self-expression. While you would think that being creative means you have plenty of ideas on how to express yourself it is often more difficult for them to dress the part. No matter where a creative brain looks there are always limitations! There are limiting beliefs about what you are supposed to wear, and when you need to go straight through them in order to be who you are, as creatives will often have to, you will feel them more intensely too…
Yet, it is the most important thing to do for you to feel more powerful. When you can be who you are under any circumstance you will feel confident, up to any task and will leave a lasting impression on others.
What could happen when you show up confident to any presentation or situation that you are invited to? What could happen if you feel confident enough to share your deepest thoughts and stories online? What would happen if you would be strong enough to say what you feel you need to say under any circumstance?
I know what it is like to put limitations on your own self-expression. What it is like to look around you in order to discern if what you are doing is “OK”. To only self-express within the limitations of the people around you. It means you can only show a small part of yourself.
I also know what it is like to show up as myself. To dress as pure as I can. And with each garment that comes in my wardrobe I get closer to the real me. It means that I
am growing more confident, that I will speak up when I feel the need to. It means I do not mind comments, the person commenting often will simply suffer by their own limitations. Besides, I mostly get compliments.
And I have no problem with being visible online anymore. If I feel the need to share something I will. Whether that be in text, video or some of my work. When I feel the need to take the stage to share my story I will.
It means my business grew too. Because the business of a creative individual is probably the most closely related to their own personality of any other form of business. It means that when you are strong enough to show yourself, your work will be stronger too.
If you want to break those limiting beliefs about how you look, if you want to show up as the strong person that you are, wherever you want to be actively present, you might be the person I am looking for. I coach people that feel the need to be real and create for the public eye. People that want to develop and break down a ceiling or two in the process. People that know there is a strength to showing up as who they are on all occasions.
Stop hiding and start showing what you are made of!
Get in touch with me for a free 1:1 coaching call, to check if we are meant to work together!
You have probably seen this already, but from the 1st of March Rethink your wardrobe will be on Facebook for a max of 15 people.
I know you might be done with the online stuff that is going on, right now. All the webinars, the videos, the meetings. You don’t really want to be looking at another screen after you have been enjoying the blue light all day already… But this is not another online training. Most of the time you will be looking at your wardrobe, your life, or your reflection, not a screen.
You know that I hate and love fashion at the same time.
I never know exactly how to put into words how it makes me feel when something that I love so much, that is part of my identity, that I feel a certain responsibility for, is cause for sooo much stress and despair for other people.
It is like your kid, your awesome amazing fantastic kid, of whom you are proud and have tons of love for, has wrecked something really bad. You kid has hurt another child. And with your whole being you want you kid to make it right with the other child. You want your kid to understand what it has done wrong. Because this is not your kid. Your kid and the way you know it, would not do this. In its core your kid would never hurt others in this way.
It tears you apart inside.
To me fashion is the ultimate form of self-expression and a liberator. When you know what you want to wear and start to not-care what others think, wearing what you want feels incredibly powerful. Fashion is also the source of my biggest moments of creativity. Not just with my hands. Yes, I love making stuff and often that means that I accidentally fall in line with some of the world’s greatest designers. Designs that you do not see on the street very often and even less in the stores will be in my wardrobe. But the creativity that I talk about is not just what is coming out of your hands. It also means channeling a sort of out of the box thinking that we are not used to doing with clothes. Instead of looking outside, I look at my core-values and try to find out what I need to do in order to have my clothes fit in with, well, me! The fashion that I know and love is sustainable, or at the very least meaningful. Because non-sustainable fashion just makes me feel bad. It doesn’t make my steps feel light, it doesn’t make me shine, it doesn’t make me feel good about my clothes.
And it hurts to see fashion being a problem to others. I cry a little every time I see a documentary about the problems in production. About the horrible ways in which items are produced, how animals and people are treated. I know from experience that working in fashion comes at a personal cost, not just in a factory far away but also in the fashion-design-hubs all around the world. It hurts even more to realize that this kind of suffering has no point. If we would feel fantastic looking in the mirror then maybe I wouldn’t care so much. That means that all the money and effort that goes into clothes would pay off, but it doesn’t! The fashion struggle continues in our own wardrobes! There are only a very few lucky people that feel fantastic in their clothes every time. Come to think of it, probably there aren’t any people that feel great with who they are all of the time. That hurts me too. Fashion is supposed to make you feel better, not worse. If you were to get out of bed feeling not so great, getting dressed in the morning should make you feel better, not worse. Most of the time clothes and the way we experience fashion is making you feel worse.
I want to change this.
Because everybody deserves to feel fantastic in the clothes that they wear.
Do we put so much time and effort and money into our clothes to feel bad?
We do that in order to feel great!
So lets! Let’s start to feel great in the clothes that we wear!
The Rethink your wardrobe group is an experiment. I want to find the best way to help people get the most out of fashion and self-expression. I am still going to put as much as I can into it so if you want to join I will send you a PWYW PayPal link. If PayPal is not for you or you have nothing to spare just let me know, I am sure we can work something out!
This Rethink your wardrobe course is for you if you aren’t feeling that spring in your step when you are dressed in the morning. It is for you if your clothes cannot get you out of a bad mood but rather put you into one. It is for you if you want to be more sustainable but trying to be more sustainable is a hassle and sometimes feels too negative and like a burden. It is for you if you want to finally feel confident enough to wear those bright colours and those combinations that you think you love but are afraid to wear. It is also for you if you feel your clothes are a bit boring. If they aren’t showing off the real you, because the real you is way more fun!?!
After 8 weeks your wardrobe will be more aligned with who you are in your core. You will be more confident because you trust yourself. You know exactly what you want to wear! Trends will have less grip on you, you know where to get your clothes. You will be more creative with your wardrobe, and you will never buy an item again that you are not going to wear. You know that curating an amazing wardrobe is a continues effort and you know how to have fun with it. If all that doesn’t do it for you, at the very least you will have a sorted out wardrobe, where it is easy to find things and you know exactly how to keep it that way!
Send me a message in any way and I will get back to you!
The other day I was presenting for a large group of people at an international event. It was a webinar, so I didn’t really know how many people were there. For all I know they could have all left the conversation while I was speaking and it would have been an empty room by the time I was finished. Didn’t matter, though, I was presenting a topic that I found super interesting, “standing out in the current fashion scene as a sustainable fashion brand”.
One of the things that I had to answer was, “what is sustainability?”. Before I gave my answer I quoted an answer that I found online, which was a bit like this; sustainability is a way to give the current generation what it needs without taking from the next generations. My answer was this; Sustainability is the status quo. Sustainability is normal.
If you want to make your wardrobe more sustainable, you just do that. You buy what you normally would buy in regular stores except you buy them from stores that sell clothes that are made sustainably.
Now why do I call buying sustainable the status quo when you are still finding it difficult to navigate the sustainable clothing-scene?
Well, because it is not.
Talked to me 10 years ago and I would have had a different opinion. Back than when I wanted to work with natural fabrics in a collection I would have had about 10 magnificent different hues of brown to chose from. I still have the patches that I requested online, at about 7 different stores that did online shipping of natural materials. There was no way I could get the materials from where I was living. They were all very crude, with washed down colours. There was no way I could do with them what I wanted to do with them. It was hard for a brand to produce truly sustainable items at that time.
Not now. Now there are so many ways to be more sustainable with your wardrobe and new brands emerge weekly. The ways to find these brands, one of the things that was troublesome in the past, are also coming up like mushrooms too.
If you are still struggling with buying more sustainable it is possible that you are thinking with too much limitations. You are literally trying to keep your old habits while just trying to be more sustainable. Like I said to the people that were listening to the webinar, what else can you do? Okay, so you are sustainable, what more are you? What are your core values and do you clothes represent those? You values do not stop at clothes, right? What else is there for you?
I am talking about sustainability+.
The problem is that sustainability works in such a different way from normal fashion that it is impossible to change without really changing. The struggle comes from the clash between how you are used to doing things and wanting sustainability to fit into those same habits. You want to buy the clothes that you are used to buying, only they should be made in a sustainable way.
Simply changing the source of your clothes will make you feel better about them, but doing it without looking at who you really are means you pass on a great opportunity to reconsider what clothes could do for you.
And that is sustainability+. It just doesn’t stop at sustainability because solving the problems fashion production represent through sustainability can mean so many things!
Fashion being sustainable might mean the production of clothes that are only worn one single time. It might mean wearing the same kind of pants for everybody. It may mean having no secondhand clothing anymore. It may even mean having only one outfit where many outfits can be projected upon. There is simply no saying what sustainability still has in store for us, but knowing yourself really well is the quickest way to a sustainable wardrobe that you love, right here, right now!
If you want to be more sustainable out of guilt for the environment it is not going to make you feel well. You could be more sustainable while having fun. You can have fun changing your wardrobe if you make sure that the things that you are trying to do are in line with your personality. Because changing to a wardrobe that suits you better is always more sustainable.
I will say that again, especially for you; a wardrobe that is filled with items that are perfect for you is per definition more sustainable. Clothes that are so awesome that you never want to let go of are the most sustainable option. You will make sure they do not wear out so quickly by washing them less or repairing them. You will use old to create new or have somebody create something new. You will feel fantastic washing an outfit that is soo awesome by hand because the outfit makes you feel fantastic and you want it to last.
Sustainablility+ is more than just being more sustainable. It means you look at what is important to you and integrate that into you buying, caring and wearing habits.
And it is more fun because it is not done out of guilt. It is done out of love for yourself.
What is your biggest sustainability-lifestyle-wardrobe struggle? Let me know!
No, that is wrong, I hope you are doing fantastic!
I hope you get up every morning feeling fantastic, ready for another day! I hope that each day you get to do what you set out to do. I hope you are focused when you are working, relaxed when you make(!) make time for some self-care and that you are getting where you want to go in life.
I hope you see the opportunities in each and every day. And that each and every day you realize you are sculpting your future.
How you live you life is how you deal with your wardrobe, too.
What you do today with your wardrobe makes a difference in how you feel about the clothes you wear in the future.
Think about it.
How you decide to live your life today makes a difference how you live your life tomorrow and the days to follow. When you are careful with your time your future will change. You can make decisions now that will pay off in the future. Decisions that will make your future life better or worse. Spend time on things now, that may help you, or simply make you happy, in the future.
What about your wardrobe? Do you buy in the moment? Or do you think about what you want in the future from your wardrobe, and adjust your mind-set right now to what you goals are concerning your wardrobe in the future?
Quite possibly you do not do it that way yet.
You buy what you think you need right now, without having a clear idea about what is in your wardrobe or what you would like your wardrobe to look like in the future. You may look at trends, and if you think you do not, everything that is in the stores is trend-related. There are only 10% of brands that do very little trend related items. That is only the case because they have a strong brand-identity, a unique look which may or may not suit you.
The effect of that is the feeling that it just isn’t good enough.
Your life… Oh no, sorry… Your wardrobe, feels like it just isn’t good enough yet. You can’t seem to do what needs to be done in order for it to make you enthusiastic and happy.
You deserve to be exited about the clothes you wear each and every day. I want you to jump out of bed in the morning, (Or maybe like me, a slow-motion-jump) exited for another outfit perfect to tackle that day with.
Are you on Facebook?
Rethink your wardrobe is coming to Facebook. In 8 weeks we will tackle old habits, create new ones, get in deep with the inner critic, and curate your wardrobe. After those 8 weeks you will be aligning your outside self with your, confident, inner self.
You deserve to be seen.
You deserve to be seen and to accomplish what you want to get done.
It is your life, you have only this one, right now.
What will it be?
Send me a message if you want to join us, from the 1ste of March! Come out of this isolation period like a butterfly and never go back to crawling!