70% of women were hunters.

Another piece of evidence that we shouldn’t be doing what we are doing…

Yes, they did it! Proof that women were hunters too. About 70% of them. In fact, they were the ones making the tools. ( so what were the men doing, you might ask?) Anyway, we are done now, right, with this weird patriarchal stuff that we keep telling ourselves??

We carry our assigned genders as if they define our personalities. We dream within the unnatural limitations that come with those labels. We are male or female first, the rest of our lives gets decided from there. Women are more tempted to stay at home, men go to work while they can be as ambitious as they want to, nobody is going to bring them down for it. They might be judged, however, when they want to care.

But that division is not natural people.

There is nothing natural about women being the cares, and men being the providers. I can tell you what natural is, though. Wanne hear it? Might change a thing or two.

It is about what you naturally do best.

You are a person first and foremost. So when we are young we aren’t supposed to be limited by our assigned gender. We are supposed to be free, developing ourselves in a unlimited way. Doing what comes naturally. Meaning, we get to find out what we love to do and get really good at it.

That is what we are supposed to do.

So, back then, if you were good at hunting, or making tools, you would do that. And be a mother or a father if that was your path. But you were the most beneficial to the group doing what you did best. So people wouldn’t question your existence, it was clear you were contributing to the group!

So what on earth are we doing now?

Three minutes after a baby is born their parents start to treat the baby differently according to their gender. Defining them, limiting them. Making it unable to ever reach its full potential because they have to live, work and dream withing that limit. And that I haven’t even begon talking about what happens when a pregnant person discovers that they are pregnant with either a boy or a girl. They will start to treat their pregnant body differently affecting that fetus before it is even born. This might not be so different in the individual scale, but I think we can see what it does on the scale of, well, the full population of the planet that know the gender of the baby before it is born.

So, we are here now. Until now our lives have been determent by our gender. Our dreams were infected by it, our chances, our choices for education, everything. The way we move and how-easy-it-is-to-hammer-something-into-a-wall has been effected by our assigned gender at birth. How to get everything out of life that it has for you, and not just what you are supposed to have?

Because this stuff affects us. If you have that feeling, right now, that you can’t find our purpose, it may be because you are trying to find it within the limitations of your label. If you feel that you might not be contributing to society as much as you could, it may be that your label is limiting you. In the best case, your label isn’t limiting you anymore, but society might be limiting you because they see you as your label and not as the individual that you truly are.

So think back. Find out if you are truly free as who you are; what is it that crosses your mind every now and then, that you love to do but didn’t because it was hard choosing for it? You would have been the only one, voicing the desire. You would have been the only one of your gender sitting in that particular classroom? If you think back to the things that you decided were not for you, than you get a hint at how you are limiting your existence. What you should try out.

At the very least, now that you know all this, try not to be afraid to admit it, anymore. For me, personally, I whished that I was expected to be handy as much as my brothers. Now, whenever I want to hang a shelve and I can’t get the drill in the wall properly, I ask one of the men in my family to do it for me. It takes them a few seconds, they are more experienced than me. But each time I see them finish my work, I realize that is wasn’t that hard. I know I can already do it a lot better than quite a few men.

So what if you secretly dreamt about being a stay at home dad? Or if you wanted to be in IT as a female or in nurse-school as a male? Ok, so maybe it is hard imagining that you would do it from the start all over again. At the very least start admitting to yourself that this, where you are now, isn’t really where you wanted to go. Maybe then you might find a way to let some of those dreams come true. While you are there, changing your life to a place where you feel much more at easy and happy with it, start pointing a finger at the real problem. The thing that made life harder for all of us, not just women. The thing that defines who we are before we have even started to find out who we are. That patriarchy with its labels and its rewards if you adhere to what it has to say. Then maybe, just maybe, we won’t limit the others that come after us as much as we did ourselves.

Are you hiding?

Hello creative changemaker with a mission! 

Tell me, are you hiding?

Do you get up in the morning and consider the people that you might run into when you select what you want to wear? Would you want to dress more outgoing but you fear eyes looking at you when you pass?  

At the same time you are working on your mission, on getting your work out there and being noticed, but that isn’t doing what you like it to do, just yet?

How would dressing up the way you want to, unique and possibly in your face, help both situations? What would it take for you to dress up uniquely, be proud of who you are and where you stand, and how would that help both you and your work to be more successful?

My name is Marjolein, and I help creatives with their self-expression. While you would think that being creative means you have plenty of ideas on how to express yourself it is often more difficult for them to dress the part. No matter where a creative brain looks there are always limitations! There are limiting beliefs about what you are supposed to wear, and when you need to go straight through them in order to be who you are, as creatives will often have to, you will feel them more intensely too…  

Yet, it is the most important thing to do for you to feel more powerful. When you can be who you are under any circumstance you will feel confident, up to any task and will leave a lasting impression on others.  

What could happen when you show up confident to any presentation or situation that you are invited to? What could happen if you feel confident enough to share your deepest thoughts and stories online? What would happen if you would be strong enough to say what you feel you need to say under any circumstance? 

I know what it is like to put limitations on your own self-expression. What it is like to look around you in order to discern if what you are doing is “OK”. To only self-express within the limitations of the people around you. It means you can only show a small part of yourself. 

I also know what it is like to show up as myself. To dress as pure as I can. And with each garment that comes in my wardrobe I get closer to the real me. It means that I 

am growing more confident, that I will speak up when I feel the need to. It means I do not mind comments, the person commenting often will simply suffer by their own limitations. Besides, I mostly get compliments. 

And I have no problem with being visible online anymore. If I feel the need to share something I will. Whether that be in text, video or some of my work. When I feel the need to take the stage to share my story I will. 

It means my business grew too. Because the business of a creative individual is probably the most closely related to their own personality of any other form of business. It means that when you are strong enough to show yourself, your work will be stronger too. 

If you want to break those limiting beliefs about how you look, if you want to show up as the strong person that you are, wherever you want to be actively present, you might be the person I am looking for. I coach people that feel the need to be real and create for the public eye. People that want to develop and break down a ceiling or two in the process. People that know there is a strength to showing up as who they are on all occasions.

Stop hiding and start showing what you are made of!

Get in touch with me for a free 1:1 coaching call, to check if we are meant to work together!

How you live your life, is how you manage your wardrobe…

I hope you are doing fine. 

No, that is wrong, I hope you are doing fantastic!

I hope you get up every morning feeling fantastic, ready for another day! I hope that each day you get to do what you set out to do. I hope you are focused when you are working, relaxed when you make(!) make time for some self-care and that you are getting where you want to go in life. 

I hope you see the opportunities in each and every day. And that each and every day you realize you are sculpting your future. 

How you live you life is how you deal with your wardrobe, too. 

What you do today with your wardrobe makes a difference in how you feel about the clothes you wear in the future. 

Think about it. 

How you decide to live your life today makes a difference how you live your life tomorrow and the days to follow. When you are careful with your time your future will change. You can make decisions now that will pay off in the future. Decisions that will make your future life better or worse. Spend time on things now, that may help you, or simply make you happy, in the future. 

What about your wardrobe? Do you buy in the moment? Or do you think about what you want in the future from your wardrobe, and adjust your mind-set right now to what you goals are concerning your wardrobe in the future? 

Quite possibly you do not do it that way yet. 

You buy what you think you need right now, without having a clear idea about what is in your wardrobe or what you would like your wardrobe to look like in the future. You may look at trends, and if you think you do not, everything that is in the stores is trend-related. There are only 10% of brands that do very little trend related items. That is only the case because they have a strong brand-identity, a unique look which may or may not suit you. 

The effect of that is the feeling that it just isn’t good enough. 

Your life… Oh no, sorry… Your wardrobe, feels like it just isn’t good enough yet. You can’t seem to do what needs to be done in order for it to make you enthusiastic and happy. 

You deserve to be exited about the clothes you wear each and every day. I want you to jump out of bed in the morning, (Or maybe like me, a slow-motion-jump) exited for another outfit perfect to tackle that day with. 

Are you on Facebook? 

Rethink your wardrobe is coming to Facebook. In 8 weeks we will tackle old habits, create new ones, get in deep with the inner critic, and curate your wardrobe. After those 8 weeks you will be aligning your outside self with your, confident, inner self. 

You deserve to be seen. 

You deserve to be seen and to accomplish what you want to get done. 

It is your life, you have only this one, right now. 

What will it be?

Send me a message if you want to join us, from the 1ste of March! Come out of this isolation period like a butterfly and never go back to crawling!