Do you know that feeling of belonging? That feeling deep inside that you have, that tells you that you are “all right” and that life is good?
I hope you do, I didn’t for a very long time. I never even felt it for a minute until much later in my life. And I know exactly why that was.
People knowingly or unknowingly adjust (and therefore limit) themselves in life according to what lessons they had in their lives. It takes away the chance to feel like you belong. The most important thing that I do, now, is show people how they can stop limiting themselves and start living fully.
One way I do this is by coaching the individual. There is a lot you can do to make sure that no matter what environment you are in, you are who you truly are. Not who you think you need to be, in order to fit in.
Another aspect of our personal feeling of belonging is our environment. How welcoming are the groups that you find yourself in, work related or otherwise? Do those places enable us to be who we are? Do they limit our freedom to express ourselves, so we have to spend energy on fitting in? Or can we be who we are so we can be more productive and creative? I hope to change some of the ways we as people are together in a way that shows there is space for everyone!
I limited myself for what felt like a lifetime. I hid my creativity, my thoughts, my beliefs, and my dreams. It was a lifetime of suppressing my opposition to the gender binary, how my brain works, and how I love. It was a lifetime of being embarrassed by how I look and how I dress, and at one point I decided enough was enough.
I started to see that there was nothing wrong with me but something wrong with the world.
When we fall in line and do what someone like us is supposed to do, life is easier. Loved ones understand our decisions and our worries, for example. You do not need to explain yourself and your choices all the time. Walking a different path may sometimes take you away from people who have been with you your entire life, which is scary. And then there is the obvious; you are blessed with opportunities or deprived of them, depending on your body and brain falling within the norm.
There are negative consequences to living a life that is different from the status quo. It might be harder to join in with society and get the same opportunities available to most people. So, we keep certain ideas to ourselves and do not explore or express them. We try to fit in visibly; we aim to look like a more stereotypical beauty standard and hide or feel shame when we don’t.
The annoying thing is that everyone is influenced by the same things, which makes everyone guilty of the same behavior. It is the people who are usually more “out of the ordinary” that are the best at camouflaging. Sometimes you do not realize you are doing it until you reach a point in your life where there is no choice but to Rethink everything.
I started with coaching because I wanted to find a way I could assist people to become the most beautiful, creative, and unique people they wanted to be, unhindered by all that stuff we just talked about.
I believe in a world that has a place for everyone.
We do not all have the same opportunities, nor the same background, and it takes too long for our society to catch up and give you the space you deserve to be yourself. Arguably, it doesn’t work like that.
Stop depending and waiting for your environment to make you happy. Start giving yourself the permission to live your life fully and love who you are, no matter what!
I hope you are done with allowing yourself to be smaller than you are.
If you like we can have a chat and see if I can show you a way where you can become unapologetic about who you are and start creating a life that you love.
Now, one last thing… What would happen if you did nothing? If you continued to live just the way you are living right now? With numbness, sometimes, and a feeling of disconnection? With somehow a feeling that life should be more than it is, right now?
Life is short. You can continue to try to live, or you can start growing, evolving, and being more than you have been. Show the world an unapologetic version of yourself that creates a life without regrets.