Seven signs that tell you; you aren’t who you think you are.
(Seven, cause that just looks good!)
I heard someone say that it is hard to be yourself but it is harder not to.
That isn’t right.
It’s not.
Sure you have more to loose if you aren’t living life true to who you are, but it is easier to be someone you are not when it is all you ever did in your life anyway.
It is hard to change that because change is something that is hard in itself.
But we all did, more or less.
We all started off as being something you are not!
We all carry some kind of hurt, something that we had to protect ourselves against when we were younger.
That shapes who we appear to be, now.
You might have even integrated it into yourself so well that you think it is part of your personality.
Worst case is when you build your life up, but at one point it just feels like “your life isn’t yours”.
Little less horrid is when you just keep wondering what to do next and never find that rest and trust in your mind.
But how do you know when you are not true to yourself?
Well, I divided it up in 7.
It isn’t the same for all of us, but I am very curious if you recognize yourself in one or more of these signs.
Obviously, I ain’t going to leave you hanging, so after that I have 7 tips that you may want to try out to get closer to yourself & that life you love to wake up to!
Here we go!
1 Something else is at the wheel.
Your head runs in overdrive. You search for answers elsewhere. It means you attend that course, but at the end find out that you didn’t get what you needed from it. Or when it comes to expressing yourself in clothes, you love to find new trends as a guide to what to wear, or dress according to your shape & age instead of knowing what you want!
2 You think your personality is set in stone.
You are the way you are, right? That goes for good stuff and for bad stuff? That is not accurate. We change in our lives, we grow. Growing means that you have seen yourself respond to the same situations differently in the past. We are not set in stone, to think that you are, or a part of you is, means that you still take the traits that you needed when you were growing up as part of your personality.
3 You are your emotions.
You are angry, happy, mad etc etc. You let them decide your day. You don’t see emotions as something you can work with. You look around you for the guilty ones that make you feel a certain way. It’s your upbringing, your family, something in the world…. Everything but not you.
4 You feel trapped.
You aren’t happy. In a way you wonder at what happened that made your life come out this way…. Why isn’t everything different? Why doesn’t everything work in your favor? You need things to change and you try to act accordingly but it won’t help.
5 You worry about things.
You worry about losing your job or not being successful at what you are trying to do. (What will they say if what I do is only so-so?) Money is a reason to not change, because changing your life will change you income.
6 You suppress your emotions.
It is hard to change you habits. You just can seem to be able to lose the weight. You need distractions like binge watching, drinking or eating (chocolate did it for me a very long time…) to keep the feeling of happiness going. Another sign may be; you keep turning to your brain to reason you out of situations instead of trusting your gut!
7 You surround yourself with people that stall growth.
They keep you from changing and they trigger you to stay the same. New thoughts and ideas aren’t welcome. In some cases you surround yourself with people that respond to life in the same way as the people you had around you when you grew up, if those were the people that instilled the trauma on you.
Bonus!
Low self esteem.
You do not like who you are. You have a highly active inner critic. You may not like your face, you don’t like thinking about your life. It just all tastes a little bitter and you find it hard to look at your life as a set of accomplishments or things that you fought hard to get through.
These are some signs that you may want to look at.
Look, I know it is hard.
We haven’t been taught to just do what you feel like doing.
A load of the emotions we had as a kid we have learned to hide.
And we taught ourselves to look and act like the pack, or only be a tad bit different, not too much.
But there is a freedom in being who you are that you deserve.
If you resonate with a load of these it might be hard for you to be who you really are but showing up , in every way, as who you really are is my cup of tea.
So, I am not going to leave you here with this, I would love to find out if any of these next tips is something you can see yourself doing to improve your situation!
Because; I love uniqueness!
And I know that you feel so much better when you are unapologetic about who you really are.
All right, here we go!
1 Let it in.
That’s right. How you feel about some of many parts of your life might not be fun to realize. Especially if you are used to pushing it away because the implications might be big or you have been telling yourself the story that there isn’t another way out. Change starts with acknowledgement.
2 talk to someone.
But not anyone. Not everyone will (want to) understand what you are struggling with! We all try to fit ourselves into a status quo, more or less. Some people force themselves to stay where they are. It means that they will not support you in the way you need to be supported to change your life.
3 take small steps.
You want to change your life? Big things are hard to change. Small steps might give you a better idea of where you want to go and make the transition easier. You do not have to quit your job to feel what it is like to run a animal shelter, just volunteer for a few hours a month. You do not have to cut ties with all your friends, maybe just finding new ones to go with the old ones will do the trick. Take it easy!
4 take small steps that matter.
Have you every caught yourself thinking things like; I need to get this *insert massive project* before I can go for it? Like “I should quit my job before starting my business” or “I need to get this massive idea of a kick-ass website running before I can launch?” Yeah, you are stalling yourself and every time you go and do something you haven’t done before, you come up with a distraction. We all do this but sometimes you need a pro to point these out to you in order for you to really REALLY do it this time… Just sayin’.
5 let go.
Let go of people that do not support you. Let go of things that don’t make sense with you anymore. Let go of the need for everyone to sign off on your ideas. 70% of the jobs in 10 years time haven’t been invented yet. People do not know what the future brings, they do not know if you can do this or not!
6 find role models.
Find people that are (or do something that relates to what you are doing) where you want to be BUT STARTED at the same place as where you are now. Your road might still be different, you may have a different talent, or different idea of how to get there but having role models will make sure that you see it can be done and that there is no reason why you cannot.
7 Work on your history.
Take the responsibility for your life and know what lessons to take from them. How do you want to look at your life? Is your role in your past the role of the victim? Or of the survivor and hero? How you feel about your past and your part in it, makes a difference how you feel about yourself, right now….
There you go, seven signs and seven things to work with.
Now, I don’t want to leave you struggling, plus I really like to know if this resonated with you or not, to make this blog better.
If you want a chat, I would love to hear from you.
Obviously, if you do not have the right people to talk to you, right now, find me here and I promise if we aren’t the right match I will try to get you to the right place!
Click on the button to book your call…
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